My Broken Love

I used to believe I was pretty

I used to believe that I was lovable and deserved to be loved

But now, as I witness dear friends become romantically involved with others, I question my beliefs

Affection and compliments make me uncomfortable

Delivered with genuineness, the kind words lay across my shoulders like a wet, heavy blanket

I mumble a quiet “thank you” and quickly move somewhere else where I can be alone

Gifts, while a wonderful and appreciated gesture, make me feel selfish

To think I was occupying your thoughts makes me clumsy. Please, don’t spend you hard earned money on me, I really don’t deserve it…

What happened to the little girl who would once glow when someone whispered a kind word to her? Who wasn’t scared of love? Who cherished intimacy?

The little girl was taught to hide. She was taught she was undeserving, unworthy, and unlovable. Her confidence was crushed through each angry word screamed at her, until one day, her self-love completely ceased to be.

The little girl grew up too young. She grew into a woman filled with a broken love.

-Chickadee

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